It's a Wonderful Life

"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives."  I loved that line when I first heard Clarence say it to George Bailey it in the movie It's A Wonderful Life and I still love it today!  I feel like this adoption path has provided me with some of the most intense and genuine new friendships and interactions with family.  I mention this because, without these friendships and interactions, none of this would be as significant as it is to me today.  Here is my story about getting "The Call."

At 5:04 p.m.EST on Thursday, September 18th my phone rang and Christy's name appeared on my screen.  Christy is my most fabulous case worker with the adoption agency.  I was not at home but in a town nearby house sitting.  I knew that I had to be back at school in an hour or so to prepare for Back to School night.   I had contacted Christy two days before to confirm I received my Favorable Determination Letter and was completely paper ready.  The letter had to be re-submitted since I moved during this process.  I answered the phone and Christy greeted me in her usual upbeat way with the FDL topic in the forefront. I thought maybe she hadn't called in two days because she had some news--ok maybe I was hoping and praying--but lost that sense of hope with the beginning of our call.  Then, she said, "So, how is everything else going?"  I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach and waited for her next comment.  "I have some exciting news about a little girl for you," she said.  I have absolutely no idea what I said--maybe something about should I sit down or keep pacing.  I know I was thinking I'd really like to have a glass of wine but knowing I was going back to school, that was not an option!  

The conversation is a bit of a blur after that.  What I do remember is the most beautiful description of the little girl God has chosen for me.  From her name, to her measurements, to her story of abandonment I was and am and forever will be in love with baby S.  She is the perfect child for me and I cannot wait until the day I get to smell her and touch her and hold her and comfort her and love on her.  

Christy explained to me that she would send the photographs she had and the other documentation, too.  All the while I knew I had to jump in the car and travel back to school.  I got in the car hoping to get there to open the files and see little S.'s picture before Back to School Night began.  I called a friend of mine to meet me at school so she could be there with me when I opened the pics.  I called my mom who was shopping for ballet clothes with my niece.  I called my dad who was home and told him to please go wait at my sister's house until my mom showed up to drop off my niece.  I wanted them all to be there to hear it at once. I knew my parents were heading out of town so I wanted to catch them before they hit the road.  I only wish my brother lived closer to have been there too.

My dad called me on the mobile and put me on speakerphone.  I tried to send a picture while telling them everything I knew.  E-mail after e-mail they were having difficulty opening the photos.  Of course I was convinced the pics were encrypted and that I would never make it downstairs to the gym in time to do my job AND show my family our newest member.  The family decided to head to my sister's office--two blocks away--to use the other computer.  So, my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and four kiddos headed down the street.  When the got there, they called again.  I tried to send the photo again.  Still no luck.  The clock was ticking and I was getting frustrated.  I tried another email account now convinced it was my work email when all of the sudden I heard my friend standing next to me saying, "Melissa,  stop for a minute and listen."  I turned my head to the phone and I could hear everyone cooing an gasping an loving on little S. already.  It was a most joyful moment.  My family could see the little girl I have been patiently waiting for, destined to raise right in front of their eyes.  At that moment, I was at peace.

When I got home I called my brother an his girlfriend to share the news.  Then I called my parents again to say goodnight and my dad filled me in on some of the conversation that took place in my absence. My four year old nephew made a wonderful comment about how lucky the baby is to live at Auntie's house with all the crafts and the big backyard.  My mom told my dad that if they couldn't see the pictures, they were not leaving town that night but coming to see them in person.  I was loving every minute of hearing how they stood around her picture and talked together about our wonderful new addition.

I feel so blessed to be so supported by such loving, compassionate and understanding family and friends.  It is for that reason all of this is possible, that S. will come to be raised in my family.  A perfect blend of crazy, dysfunctional, passionate, opinionated, loving people that make us the special group we are.  I am convinced there is no perfect world.  I do believe however, if you wish it to be, it can be and is a wonderful life!

UNofficial Number Update

So my morning email looked a little something like this:

From Amy in Washington State: 

Ok Ladies!  I am flipping out.  I just emailed Kami to confirm that she was #2 on the list.

 

We are unofficially #1, #2 and #3!  This is happening so fast all of a sudden.  I hope this pace continues.  I am sooo tired of waiting to see my little girl.  I have been trusting in His timing, but that doesn't make me any less excited to meet her.  The anticipation is almost more than I can handle.  Put me out of my misery God and let me meet her!  :  ) 

My cyberadoption buddy Amy sent this at 11 something last night.  I read it twice and I was thinking, "Who the heck is Kami?"  Actually I think that's what I emailed Amy and Bethany (my other cyberadoption friend who is the unofficial #2 mentioned above.  They both responded with very enthusiastic emails that indeed, I am now #1 on the list as Kami received her referral yesterday afternoon.  

Now, I am OFFICIALLY speechless.

Happy New Year!

The Ethiopian New Year, Enkutatash, is September 11.  This festival celebrates both the New Year and the Feast of John the Baptist at the end of the long rains in Spring (thus the reopening of the courts), when the Highlands become covered in wild flowers. Children dressed in new clothes dance through the villages, distributing garlands and tiny paintings. In the evening every house lights a bonfire and there is singing and dancing.

Please join me in wishing Ethiopians everywhere a very Happy New Year!

33 Ways to Have More Peace in Your Life

I was up in my parents’ attic the other day and found a few things I’d long since forgotten. One of the items I came upon was my high school lacrosse shirt. My number was 33 and I wore it proudly. Remembering back to why I originally chose this number, a few things come to mind. One I can’t reveal as I am forever sworn to secrecy (Cary Fridley-are you out there?) and the others have to do with role models, beer and mathematics.

There were my sports idols: Eddie Murray, first basemen for the Orioles and the Boston Celtics' Larry Bird: one of the best clutch performers in the history of sports; and Rolling Rock-one of my first favorite beers probably because printed on every bottle is the number #33 (The 21st Amendment abolished Prohibition in the USA on 5 December 1933, the perfect temperature to consume beer is 33 degrees and most beer is brewed at 33 degrees).

Being captivated with mathematics and problem solving, the number 33 fascinated me in more ways than I can describe. For example: The number n is deficient if the sum of all its positive divisors except itself is less than n. Thirty-three is deficient. The number n is evil if it has an even number of 1's in its binary expansion. To build the lucky number sequence, start with natural numbers. Delete every second number, leaving 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, ... . The second number remaining is 3, so delete every third number, leaving 1, 3, 7, 9, 13, 15, 19, 21, ... . The next number remaining is 7, so delete every 7th number, leaving 1, 3, 7, 9, 13, 15, 21, ... . The next number remaining is 9, so delete every ninth number, etc. Those numbers were lucky if they weren't crossed out. A palindrome is a number that reads the same forward or backward. A number is said to be square-free if its prime decomposition contains no repeated factors. Thirty-three is evil, lucky, a palindrome and square-free. Perhaps not of interest to many, but it kept me busy through many years of dreary arithmetic classes.

So what does the number thirty-three have to do with today? I got my new numbers for the wait list. I am number three on the girl’s list and number three on the sibling list. What came to mind as soon as I heard that? Thirty-three!

I hope my child has the opportunity play sports and be on a team that gives her a sense of success by cooperation. Maybe one day she will choose a number of significance in her life (hopefully not linked to beer). Perhaps she will find comfort in learning by making sense in chaos. Or maybe she will just find peace in the ordinary and become her own version of extraordinary.

Here’s to Eddie, here’s to Larry and here’s to the folks in Latrobe. And, here’s to my little one who is probably already out there with no idea that the protection of number 33 is reigning over her.


33 Ways to Have More Peace in Your Life by Joseph Bernard

• Slow down and let your body come to rest once in a while
• Let you inner critic go and instead talk nice to yourself
• Listen to you heart and love more freely
• Pay attention to your feelings, make sure you are doing ok
• Spend time in the calmness of nature
• Take a nap and dream about being peaceful
• Pay attention to your intuition and act accordingly
• Be more playful, do more fun things and laugh often
• Have art days and express yourself creatively
• Read about being peaceful, Thich Nhat Hahn is great
• Sing songs that uplift you
• Check out the dances for universal peace in your community
• Go for quiet and relaxing walks
• Listen to the birds sing, the sounds of a stream or the wind
• Feel gratitude for all you have and for each moment
• Expand your breathing and feel how alive you are
• See the beauty of the world around you
• Finish unfinished stuff that is bothering you
• Have friends that really listen, be a friend and listen too
• Change beliefs that limit you or make you feel guilty
• Stop watching nightly news, do something healthy instead
• Notice where fear runs you and change your thinking
• Be kind to yourself and love and accept who you are
• Do what feels right, say no to what doesn’t
• Follow your own truth and live by your values
• Enjoy your uniqueness and express who you are
• Have a purpose in life and live it with passion
• Only make commitments you can honor and follow through on
• Focus on the positive and expect good things to happen
• Stop blaming, take responsibility for creating your life
• Explore what interests you and be a life long learner
• Wake up and see yourself having a wonderful day
• Find the peaceful place inside and visit often

© Joseph Bernard