Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.  Proverbs 13:12

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Changes in Ethiopian Processing

Looks like it may be spring before I meet my sweet S. I am so very sad inside but equally peaceful that I was led to a country that makes ethical and sound decisions for the future of their children--our children. I only hope this is a time delay and not something more.

Changes in Processing:

The Ethiopian government has implemented some changes in how the adoptions are being approved. Although these changes are currently in place, there is a movement of many people who are involved in the adoption process that are advocating that this may not be in the best interest of the children. However, the government has stated that these changes are being put into place in order to reduce the number of children with living parents adopted internationally. In addition to this, the government seems to believe that this added step in the processing will ensure that relinquishments are done in an ethical and legal manner.

Recently the Ethiopian Government started requiring all of the relinquishments to go through Central Authority for an additional approval before continuing onto the Courts. Even if my agency has already previously been scheduled a court date for a family, the file will be required to go back through this new channel before the court date can be approved and a decree given.

Currently the courts are scheduling court dates for more than a month out. Also, the new Central Authority, which is called the Civil and Social Affairs office, are not sending their approvals before the previously scheduled court dates. For this reason unfortunately the timeframe of my adoption and travel dates will most likely be lengthened more than I thought.


Please keep my little girl and all of the waiting children at Hannah's Hope in your thoughts and prayers.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

My Little Girl is Five Months Old

On Saturday, my little one turned five months old. When I first got my referral, my good friend Brett suggested I subscribe to updates from this website for milestones. At first I thought it was very cool to see what developmentally was going on with her at the different stages. But, when I got the latest update I just felt sad that I wasn't seeing these milestones with my own two eyes. I am really excited for her growth and development--please don't get me wrong, but it really got to me when I read this:


your baby

How your baby's growing: You've probably noticed that your baby is becoming much more social lately. Not only will she tolerate attention from others, but she may even initiate it. She thrives with your attention and is learning how to engage you. As she masters more physical skills, from lifting her head and shoulders off the ground to extending her arms and legs and arching his back, expect your baby to seek your attention by wriggling or making noises before crying. Over the next three months, your baby will develop her own way of letting you know what she thinks, wants, and needs.


No, I haven't noticed any of that but I sure hope I will get to soon. I know everything happens as it should and I've been pretty patient, but these updates may send me into a tailspin. Sorry for the negativity. I'll find the positive side again before my next post.


Happy five month birthday, my little one. I am thinking about you every minute of every day and can't wait until you are letting me know what you think, want and need in person.

Friday, October 24, 2008

The Meaning of My Daughter's Name and Biding My Time

First, I have to share the coolest thing.  Yesterday, after an exhaustive search, I finally tracked down the meaning of my daughter's name.  I chose to keep the name she was given in Ethiopia but it isn't a common name so it took a little sleuthing.  I am awestruck at how perfect her name is.  Her name, yet to be divulged on the blog as to protect her while I am in the court process, means to be connected/joined by love.  How incredible is that?  I feel so blessed with this sign.  Her middle name, a derivative of my mother's first name which means nourishing, is a traditional Ethiopian name meaning diamond.   
Last night I couldn't sleep and I was restless.  At about two a.m. I decided to pull out all of the purchases I've been putting in my baby girl's closet that I'll take as donations to Hannah's Hope in Addis.  Each time I see things on sale that the orphanage can use, I pick up a few extras.  Little Old Navy socks ($.89/pr), toothpaste, toothbrushes, cute little sweatpants (end of season sale $2), bibs at IKEA (7 for $2), diapers.  Whatever I see, I buy.  Gathering these items in small numbers, I wasn't really paying attention to how much I was collecting (or spending).  That was until last night.  Here are a few photos before I started to come up with a packing plan.
Now you may think that it looks like I went a bit crazy with pajamas but hear me out.  Last winter/early spring when all of this was but a hazy futuristic dream and I had not yet bought my current house (that's key because now I am saving and freaking out about every penny), I started keeping my eye out for sales.  I found that pajamas are marked down significantly in the early spring.  I'd say "Who knew?" but you savvy moms out there are probably already clear on these things.  Me?  Not so much.  The pjs for the older kids were such fun to buy because I kept reading stories by other families from my agency who were traveling and sharing the needs at Hannah's Hope.  And thus it began.  The retail therapy for children I don't know yet--or maybe even one of your children out there.  

Last night I started to consider what to do with all of this stuff and still be able to pack my own bags.  I started packing, rolling, vacuum packing, folding, stuffing and -voila- I fit most everything in three large duffel bags and one medium one.  I think from the picture below, however, I may need one more bag.  Oh my goodness--I have to stop buying!  How fun it will be to share all of these treasures, though, when the time comes to travel.  For all of you on the wait list, at least know your waiting children will have some pjs while at HH!

As a side note, the shoes are from my sister, Suzie.  She has four children who grow like weeds and she sent over bags of things for me to go through--including brand new items her big babies never wore.  I kept the things that I thought my baby girl will use and piled up the other things.  Then I bagged the shoes that are in great shape--they really look barely worn--to take with me. 

Also, my friend Susie had a little boy early summer.  Actually, her son was due on the very day my little one was born and for her entire pregnancy we joked that we were pregnant together.  I digress.  Susie got some presents at her shower for little girls (she and her husband didn't share the gender) and some newborn clothes that her son never wore because he, too, is a big boy much like my nieces an nephews.  So all of those new clothes went into the donation bags!

What does all this mean?  I am almost packed and ready to go.  Of course I have to wait for the Ethiopian courts to agree.  I feel like I have my bag packed for the hospital and now I am just waiting to go into labor.  Of course in this case, labor will be at least two weeks (travel planning) and 19 hours (the flight to Addis)!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I've Been Tagged


Leann and Amy tagged me and now I am under pressure to reveal seven random things about myself you may or may not know. This is an especially difficult activity for me because...
  1. I don't like bring attention to myself. This often comes as a surprise to people that know me well, because I am not exactly a quiet person. However, I much prefer to highlight others using my volume and extroverted personality. Once the conversations begin to flow, I can go from extrovert to introvert. I love to listen and garner information simply from observation.
  2. I hate mushrooms. So much so that I tell people I am allergic to them in restaurants to make absolutely sure they do not touch my plate. The thought of them can send my into a very dramatic downward spiral of "ick" and "ewww" and "yuck."
  3. I have been to six continents and hope to someday go to Antarctica. Traveling has provided me with my love of country and my deep appreciation for other cultures, beliefs, customs and needs. I am grateful to have the life I live and hope for a better future for so many in our ONE world.
  4. I absolutely, positively, completely LOVE my job with all my heart. I feel honored to represent and advocate for children every day. As a teacher I spent most of my time planning for the individual needs of the children I taught. I almost never planned lessons for the group (don't tell my previous principals). I found my personal challenge to be turning each child's light bulb on every day. When I saw that look in their eyes, I always marked that off as a point for the future. As an administrator, I try to do the same for teachers balancing my role as a preservationist of school culture and a change agent. It is hard to measure whether or not I do this, but if I go back to my whole reason for being as educator, than hopefully I keep my eye on the prize.
  5. I learned how to drive on a '66 Ford semi-automatic on the column pick-up truck. My friend Cindy and I drove from farm to farm through unchained fences for summers on end. At the age of twelve. We had far too much freedom and became adventurers by default. I credit those amazing summers with my need to question and explore everything.
  6. I love the Grateful Dead and the Doors. Enough said.
  7. I once walked from Battery Park City to 125th Street in Manhattan in one day. I stopped along the way to meet with friends for coffee, window shopped, and take in the many different neighborhoods just blocks apart. It was one of my top five days on the planet!
My turn to tag:

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Reason to Celebrate

Congratulations to my friends PAMELA (Kyrgyzstan) and AMY (Ethiopia) for their referrals of baby girls.  So many referrals the last few weeks----so excited for these children and families to be united!  

So...what's next?

Below is an overview of an Ethiopian adoption process from the time my agency receives adoptive parents' completed dossier and home study.

Agency Sends Dossier for Authentication and Translation Check!
Agency will forward adoptive parents’ dossier to the U.S. State Department and the Ethiopian Embassy for authentication. Once processed, the agency will forward the dossier to our staff in Ethiopia where it is translated

Referral Process Check!
Once the dossier is in Ethiopia, adoptive parents can wait six to eight months for a referral of a child. Once referred, the agency will send the adoptive parents referral photos, medical information and the child’s background information, including any known family history. Upon acceptance of referral, the agency's foreign staff will submit adoptive parents’ dossier, with the referred child’s documentation to the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA).

Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA) Reviews Documentation Check!
MOWA is the branch of the Ethiopian government that reviews all documentation submitted by the adoptive parents and on behalf of the referred child recommends the adoption to be finalized to the Federal Court of Addis Ababa.

Federal Court Date November 11, 2008 Check!
Once MOWA recommends the adoption to be finalized, a court appointment is scheduled. At this appointment, the judge can either finalize the adoption or ask for further documentation and set another court date. Once the adoption is finalized, the court decree, new birth certificate and passport are issued, and the adoptive parents can travel.

Travel December 6, 2008 - December 11, 2008
Adoptive parents should be ready to travel within two to four months after accepting a referral. One parent is required to travel and the in-country stay in Ethiopia is five to seven days. During this time, adoptive parents will complete the U.S. Embassy Immigration appointment for the adopted child, which is necessary to bring the child to the United States. The agency's in-country staff will accompany each family throughout their entire stay in Ethiopia.

Post-Adoption- Until the child turns 18 years old In Process
In Ethiopia, an adoption is finalized before entrance into the United States. Upon arrival, post-adoption reports are due at three, six, and 12 months on the anniversary of the U.S. Embassy appointment date. After the first year, family authored self reports are due every year until the child reaches 18 years of age.